I wonder ....

suddenly has the urge to write ..
rarely has this feeling since that day .. you know what so don't ask which day 
caused by environment i guess .. Christmas had just left and New year coming soon ..
always wanted a romantic white Christmas but i'm pretty sure will never happen for this year .. who knows .. maybe next year .. i can be with someone who i love and enjoy Christmas where we both love .. white Christmas .. my next year resolutions .. haha ..
talk about resolutions .. i had just finish reading my this year resolutions ...
part of it had came true .. part of it had been done .. had succeed .. healthy eyes .. suitable doctor that able to heal my eyes problem .. wisdom to study .. GPA4.0 .. Iphone 4 .. smooth year .. everyone's happiness .. however only one did not came true .. and it will never be .. even though i'm pretty sure it will not happen again .. it is still on the list .. still on the wishing list .. still on my new year resolutions .. still on my birthday wishes .. still everything i wish for .. will never remove it .. it is as important as everything i mention in my resolutions ..
=)
am i that stupid to wish for something that will not happen ??
me myself don't understand why .. so don't ask me why ..
while i am writing .. i wonder ... how are you ???
i wonder .. what will everything be if you were still here ...
i wonder .. how would Christmas be with you by my side ..
i wonder .. how will we celebrate new year together ..
i wonder .. why still wonder ???!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
distracted by memories again ..
no matter what .. changes will be made on 2012 ...
lolo will transform to someone better .. someone that truly smile ..
so next thing to do is new year resolutions ..

Love,
Lornalsq

Smile

haha .. didnt notice that i had neglected my blog for a long long time .. maybe .. because ..
that i had nothing to write anymore ..
i had throw away what i used to write ...

what i had did in 2 months time ???
a lot ..
 and ..
im finally 21 ..

exam coming ..
preparing .. studying .. giving my 100% on exam ..

haha ...
this 2 months .. whenever i thought of the past .. all i will do is laugh ..
this is how i heal myself .. =)

Love,
Lornalsq

pain

when class starts .. i wonder a few things ...

what happen if i see you .. what happen if i bump into you ... 

what i.m afraid the most had happen .. today .. not a good day ..

i can hardly describe my feelings now ... 

i feel like crying again ... because its painful .... 

it feels like my wound that had just heal a lil had started to bleed again ... 

and it bleeds more ........... the pain is unbearable ....

i didn't know what to do ... 

i was talking to my friend when i saw you ..  after seeing you .. 

i cant hardly continue talking to my friends .. but i have too ... 

so i did continue talking but words start to jumble up ... 

i'm fill with emotions ... again ... 

reminds me the moment you walk away from my life in silence .. 

reminds me how i struggle my life through without you ..

reminds me the moment i saw you with her .. 

reminds me why am i still posting about you now ... 

reminds me that you still affect me .. 

got no mood to write anymore ... 

Not much .. too little ...

third day of Oct ..
how are you ? 
i've been listening to the same song all over and over and over again ... for this two days ... 
it's not because of i'm crazy ... but the meaning of the song reminds me of memories ... 
things that i had let go few months ago ... 
i would just sit or lie on my bed the whole day.. listening to this song and it will bring me back to flashbacks ... 

it hurts ... 
this song ----->不多 .... By Nic  ... made me feel like crying again ... 
tears had stop long ago ... i don't feel the pain neither the sadness because I'm fine with it .. 
i had get over it .. Lolo perfectly find ..  
but not for long till i listen to this song ... 
this song can reflect both side .. 



你能给的不多 你能爱的不多 ( ni neng gei de bu duo , ni neng ai de bu duo)
you told me i cant give you much .. neither loving you much .. 

你的不多 卻把我無止盡淹沒 (ni de bu duo, que ba wo wu zhi jin yan mo)
and because of not giving enough  ... you walk away in silence and left me with nothing ...
but all i need was ... not as much as you wanted ... all i wish is a simple love ....
我需要的不多 我渴求的只是爱的经过 ( wo xu yao de bu duo, wo ke qiu de zhi shi ai de jing guo)


sometimes .. i just dont feel like falling in love again .. because i'm afraid of falling and hurting myself again .. 
but sometimes i do wish to find someone that can give me what i wish .. a simple love ... 

ps.. this is how i feel about the song .. might not be the exact meaning of it .. as everyone might have differetn feelings listening to the song ... =)






Love ,
Lornalsq

Oct ^.^

its October !!!! 2nd day of Oct ...
nothing changes ...
hopefully will be a great month ..
ohh yaa ... just both a cd that i had been crazy finding it everywhere ... and finally i got it  ..
happy me ..
Nic's , Let's not fall in love again .... Nice .. me likey =)
 meaningful ... somehow ... the lyrics relate to my situation =)

I'm still human !!!

After what had happened ... i had stop posting about him ... stop thinking ... stop talking .... stop dreaming everything about him ... i thought this is the BEST way to let go of it ... let go of the sadness ...

All this while .. i thought i'm doing great .... i'm not sad anymore ... i'm not emo anymore ... things about him doesn't affect me anymore ... 

life had been much better ... more simple ... i'll do whatever i want .. whenever i feel like doing it ... 

i am fine till class starts ... the first day of class should be very exciting for me ... i will normally feel happy and excited to go to the first class of the new semester because i get to catch up with friends and to see them again .. of cause also back to study is fun =) 

but the first day for me is like hell .. i don't feel like going college ... that day i reluctantly feel like getting my butt out of the house ...  cause i am afraid .. afraid that i will bump into  him ... how should i react ?? ignore ??? pretend that i didn't see him ?? or should i just smile and walk off ??? i am not ready to see him ... cause i'm not sure how would i feel ... will he affect me again after seeing him ?? i wish not to be sad anymore ... i just want to be happy with my life being who lolo is and move on with it ... 

seriously not sure about how i feel ... but if one day, i really bump into him then we will see what happen at that moment .. maybe he is the one who pretend not to see me ... but not matter what ... doesn't matter ... 

now ... i know where do i stand ... i wont walk back into the dark ... i'll continue to be where i am ... 

so we shall wait and see ... who knows .. maybe when i see him ... i know i had let go .. completely ... 

^.^ so wish me luck ...
p.s. i dont hate him .. i still keep him as my friend .. but it all depends ... whether he is kind enough to let go of the past and be friends again ..=) 

Love , 

lolo 

dull life

i had stopped posting any post in my blog lately ...
i guess its because my life is dull now ..
no class ... no work ... only stay at home ...
hopefully my life will be better when class starts ..
cant wait ..
19 of Sept ... will be a great day ..
BECAUSE !!!!!!!!!!!!!
1) Nic gonna release his album .... hehe
2) class starts
3) last but not least .. my lil bro's birthday ..
so it all begins on the 19th ...

=)

First day of the month !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

weee~~~~~its September already ???
well ... IT IS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
haha .. its the first day of the month ..
i'm happy cause i'm on holidays .. even though its a lil bored but ya ... still ok .. just need to get something to do ..
so ya ... stay tune .. more post to come =)

Dear Sis

Dear Sis,

If you get to know about this post ... most probably you will read it and scold me or you will keep it in the heart and pretend that you know nothing about this or you will punch me on my face .... but no matter what's the outcome .. i'll still continue writing this ...

there is something that i wish you would know .. but if we were talking face to face .. nothing will come out from my mouth ... i'll only scream as loud as i can in my heart ... i know this had been a very sensitive issue between us .. because we will definitely end in a quarrel after this topic of conversation ... this happens every time without fail ... you know what hurts me the most after we fight is not about the words that we use to scold each other .. but to see that my sis is still not awake from something that i think is a waste of time ....

Sis, you had been the greatest sister that i could ever find in the world ... no matter what happen, you will be there for me and i'll be there for you too .... we are always together no matter what happen ... nothing could change between us . cause we are sisters ... nothing could change this fact of life ...

here i would like to tell you that ... something in your life wasn't suitable for you .. i bet by now you will know what i'm trying to say already .. and i'm not afraid to say so ... he is a fucking asshole that mess up your life ... i don't care you are angry that i called him that ... cause go ahead .. if it is because of a guy that you hated me than is okay ... i'll know how much a sister mean to you ...

he give you nothing .... his friends is 100% more important than you ... what is you to him ??? a driver that he need ??? a driver that send him to college, home, to everywhere that he want to go ??? seriously i hate the fact that fetch him using our petrol money .... you told me that he did reimburse your petrol money .. remember what you told me few days ago ??? you are the one who pay for all the petrol ... WTF !!!!! i'm so pissed when i know about it .. but i didnt voice it out at that moment ... OR a jacket that he need when he is cold ??? a toy that he played when he is bored ??? OR he think that you are rich and hope to get some from you ????? whatever it is .. i don't wish to know.

Sis, do you remember we used to go our Kayo-kai meeting ??? what we had learnt from it about relationship ??? those that happen in yours ??? did you both actually learn from each other and grow together into a better person .. ???? did you look at him and feel being inspired to do better in life ??? did you see future in his eyes ?? (not your future with him as in marriage and such)  but his own future ??? what he wanted to achieve in  life ??? what is his path of success ?? did you ever see all this in his life ???

my answer to all the questions i mentioned is NO !!!! He doesn't lead you to happiness but dullness and sadness .. had you ever noticed that you had rarely smile as youalways do ... you had rarely be as crazy as last time ... BRITNEY IS HALF GONE !!! you are not you anymore ... you are not the sister that i used to play with .. where are you ... i see you being upset .. being disappointed because of him ... sometimes i really feels like scolding him nicely but this is your relationship .. i respect it .. but not him .. i respect you as my sister and you will handle your life by yourselves ... i will not interfere it ... so i had choose to keep my mouth shout whenever our family talks about it him ... i'll ignore it as if i know nothing ...  because he show nothing that assure me that he is a good guy ... i'm sorry that i'll never accept him as part of our family ... I'm sorry sis ...

that is all i would like to say ... its just my feeling .. you can carry on with it .. it doesn't mean that i'm trying to destroy your relationship ... because i had just told you that i will not interfere .. but he SHOULD NOT cross the line ...

Sorry sis if this post hurts your feeling ...

Love,
Lornalsq

MY NEW TOY !!!!!!

LET ME INTRODUCE YOU TO MY NEW LITTLE TOY !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

its an early birthday present from my dad .. 

hehehehe

My life ...

weeeeee ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

its 1st of August 2011 !!!!!!!

which means my internship will end in 1 month time ... *blink blink * time flies ...

AAAAWWWwwwww ~~ i'll miss Dorothy the most ...  my best kawan at office ... 

we can laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh and laugh for the whole day .. of course we do work also .. 

so how's life ???

nothing special lo .. working life .. still boring ...

haha ... here comes my feelings ... 

this blog ain't normal if there isn't any post on my feelings .. 

so while all my friends are still worried about me ... 

i'm trying my best in letting go of it ... 

or i should say .. not trying but had already doing so .... not that difficult actually .... 

its just the matter time ... plus i'm surrounded by supportive family and friends around me ... 

i had moved on ... 

i woke up everyday with a smile ... wishing my day would be great ... 

and YEAH !!!! my day fills with laughter and love from everyone around .... 

even though sometimes that 'aunty' annoyed me ... but i had choose to ignore her .. the best way to live is to be happy of who i am and to ignore others' annoying behavior because they are who they are .. 

thats all for now ... =)

Love, 

Lolo

i feel nothing at all

sometimes i can't differentiate things which is good or bad ???

i used to cry a lot .. cry easily .. 

but this time ... i don't feel anything ..

only a little on that day .. after that i'm perfectly fine ..

what's going on ??

it doesn't hurt me much or it hurts me till i don't feel anything at all ??? 

i wonder .. 

or .. 

am i that tough in handling it ??

maybe .. 

or ....

i'm actually hiding from the pain ???

don't think so ... 

but its better to let it out than keeping it .. 

will figure it out soon .. 

Butterfly

Butterfly ...

today got nothing much to do in the office ..

while i'm waiting for senior to give me work  ... 

this is what i do ... haha

i draw butterfly ♥

Original ... 

edited 1

edited 2

hehe ..

A last post about you ...

this would be the last post about you .. i had posted almost 75 posts in my blog .. and almost 90% were about you .. this blog was created with a reason at the very beginning . . where i wish you would know how i feel ....

every thoughts and feelings of mine were turned into words ...words that i wish i could tell you .. but never have the chance to let you know .. but it makes no different as you will never care ... 

all this while i thought it was all my fault .. i put every blame on myself ... i even hated myself because i thought i'm the one who ruined the whole relationship . everyone else thought you're the victim and i'm the bad one .. 

after 300 days of tortures and pains .. and finally i get to know the truth ... 

Why put the blame on me ???????

still remember what you emailed me ???? 

you said my love wasn't enough, my time wasn't enough, my everything wasn't enough for you . i don't understand what you want . 

this is what you said that cause my heart to bleed ... 

and yet .. i'm dumb enough to think that "yes !!!! me = not enough" 

i'm dumb enough to wait .. hoping this could turn around .. 

things would change between us ... 

i change my life so that it could suits you ... 

i guess no matter what i do ..will never be enough for you ... 

and i clearly know why now ...

why drag everything till now ???

you could just tell me about it .. and that's it .. i'll cry myself to sleep and wake up the next morning and continue with my life ... but all you did is to keep yourself in silence and watch me fall deeper and deeper .. 

i asked you a few times .. remember ?? all you said was i'm busy .. give me time to settle my problem first ( this is what you said after the email that you sent) .. then after that you had forgotten about it .. 

you ignored it ... are you a man ?? a true one ?? cause you are that coward to tell me the truth ?? to tell me that you are with someone else ??? or do you enjoy seeing me suffering in pain ??? 

you left me in pain .. you left me with tears .. 

but you will never know .. if you think what you had gone through is painful .. wait till you suffer like me .. 

do you think i had great time in this 300 days ??? 

i leave every moment of it with a little hope ..

hoping you would give me a little of your attention and care ... 

i had never ask for more .. however .. this hope had become a hope which is gone now .. its gone since .. yesterday .. 

yesterday should be a very happy and beautiful day .. where the whole family gathered to celebrate my grandma's birthday .. 

but i had spoiled it .. i couldn't stand it and all i could is to fall and break down ... i was sad ... and painful ... 

i feels like a tomato falling from a high rise building .. 

this is how i feel .. that moment i feel like slapping you ... 

do you know what hurts me the most is seeing you last night with another girl ...

i couldn't believe what i saw .. i hope it wasn't you that i saw ... 

unfortunately it was you ... 

my heart shattered into pieces and it will never be perfect .. 

all this while you were actually having fun in your life .. where i keep myself in dark .. i would rather you telling me that you are in a relationship at the very beginning of all this ... than making me looking like a fool ...  in this 300 days ... you were actually with someone else ... 

you were actually with her.. 

its just so hard to believe what its true ... 

anyway..

THANK YOU !!!! 

from the bottom of my heart .. i would like to thank you for everything because i had learn more than i could find in my life .. 

this morning when i woke up .. i thought this would be hard for me .. 

but it turns out that i'm okay .. just a little down .. 

surprisingly i didn't cry much too ... 

its time to let go 

its time to say goodbye ....

its time to keep all this in my memories library and all this had become history .. 

i will still treasure everything in my heart cause you are someone which is important in colouring my picture of life ... and 

you will always be my friend  ..

this is the end for this chapter of my story of life .. its been a long story and finally comes to an end ..
i believe that not every story ends in happily ever after .. but i'm sure that in every ending of a story comes with lesson that you had learn .. i had learn to become a stronger person .. without him in life isn't the end of the world .. ending of this story is a beginning of another story .. so more chapter to come in the future .. so be ready for it =)

Love ,

Lornalsq

where is the undo button ???

while i was working few days ago ... 

something pops into my mind ....... 

what else can it be ??? nothing else will fill up my mind except you ...

hmmm .... 

normally when we do our assignment ... or now even when we work ...

we usually use M. Words or Excel and such .... 

whenever you make an mistake on it .. you can always click on the undo button ... to remove whatever which is wrong ... if u had deleted something which it important ... u can always click redo ... easy and simple ... 

but .. why .. when it comes to life ... there isn't any redo or undo button .. 

what had happened will forever be there .. you cant forget it because its part of your life .. part of your memories ... what else can we do besides than accepting the fact that its gone ... 

there isn't a way to undo ... 

i had deleted something which is important in my life ... something which is valuable .. something that i treasure the most ... but ...once its deleted ... it will never come back no matter what ... 

if you say that i had try my best to save everything that i could then you are wrong .. because i did nothing to save it .. i did nothing to make you stay ... i did nothing for you ....

i don't know what else can i do besides turning my feeling to words ... words that fill my blog ... 

i'm completely being isolated from your life ... 

dear .. what else can i do ??? 

if i could find an undo button in life ... 

i would undo everything .. 

lets go back to 15th September 2009 ... where our story begin ... 

Love, 

Lornalsq

so fast ??

the beginning of June ... 

1st June 2011
my very first thought was .... haiz .... how can i stand working ???

2nd June 2011

how am i supposed to suffer for 3 months .????

3rd June 2011 

help me !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i dont want to work !!!!

4th June 2011

when will this end ???

5th June 2011

can 3 months pass faster ???

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

 30th June 2011

wow 0.o 1 month already ???

1st July 2011 

awwww ... only 2 months left ...

now i had started to love my job ... 

but only 2 months left ... 

will appreciate this 2 months and i'll enjoy my time working with my colleagues ...

i will not see u guys soon ...

i had learn a lot ... some may give me headache ... but when i had accomplish difficult task ... 

i feel satisfied ... 

=)

LOVE, 

Lolo

Not the right timing ...

daddy was admitted to the hospital few days ago .. due to insane pain on his back ... after checking, doctor advice him to go for a surgery .. removing part of the soft bone that actually creates the pain ... i almost faint went i heard the news ... however i was working .. not able to be there during his surgery .. went to visit him that night ... his surgery took more than an hour ... but overall everything went smoothly ...
he is fine now .. had discharged from the hospital this morning ... hope he will get well soon ...

the second day when he was in the hospital ...
we visited him at night ...
he asked me again about me having a boyfriend ( just because he saw me wearing necklace ... and FYI that necklace is from my mom)  .... =.=
on the same day ... evening ... surprisingly my mom asked the same question ... =.=
never thought that mummy will actually asked this question)
not the right time to answer this question ... this question made me speechless ... how should i answer ???
my common answer .. i look like porkchop where got people want ...
or should i answer ... the one that i love don't love me ...
haiz ..

ITS NOT A JOKE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hardly describe my feelings now ...

if u think it is a joke .. then continue with it ... 

i wont blame you ... 

maybe all this while ... you thought my love to you is a joke ... 

is ok ... then make it as a joke .. 

then i'll just keep myself in misery .. my heart bleed every moment of my life from the day you left ..

i miss you every moment ... i will miss you till the moment of my last breath but you will never know ... 

because you will only take it as a joke ... 

i'm fine with it ... 

go on with your life .. treating everything of mine as a joke that make you laugh .. 

or should i think it as a good thing cause i made you laugh ... 

whats the point telling you that i miss you ...

whats the point missing you ...

all i get at the end .. is nothing .... 

maybe next time i'll just keep it inside my heart and never let it out ..

because i feel better keeping it than telling you .. 

Reminds me of you

my sis just got her driving license not long ago ...
driving skill still not that good .. still a lil careless but she got to drive to college starting next week ...
so .. today we went to college .. and practice her parking skill ...
lolz .. she made 15 ++ times of parking ....
the last 2 was fine ...
her driving skill remind me of my driving skill last time ... when i just got my license ..
i remembered i was so afraid to drive ...
parking skill sucks to the max ...
but all this remind me the most was you ...
there were once i'm stuck in college parking ... somewhere near MPH ...
i couldn't reverse out neither make a U-turn out from there ...
all i do was to call you for help ...
there were once where i'm stuck in the parking .. couldn't reverse out cause there a car parked behind mine ...
i called you for help too ...
you will always be there to help me ... but where are you now ???

now .. my driving skill boleh tahan di la ... at least i wont get stuck in somewhere and need help ...
i can handle it by myself ...
i guess i couldn't rely on other people that much ..
its always important to learn and accept the fact you are not there for me anymore ...

working life sucks to the max too ..
OT every single working day without any exception ..
i guess this is life .. nothing comes easy ...
got to learn whole bunch of new thing ...
got to communicate with people ...
got to learn that life wasn't that easy when you are working ...
i remembered you told me about it too ...
now i know how does it feel to work ... really work ...
i used to think working life is simple .. its just work and sleep and eat and work again ...
i didn't realize i had forgotten .. stress ... time management ... responsibility ...
once again .. my working life reminds me about you ...

a simply word ... which i used to say ...
o ...
reminds me of you too ... we used to prohibit each other from using this word ...
who ever which used this word will actually cause the other person to earn a chance to use the word ..
haha ... (for you guys that actually read my blog may not understand what i'm trying to say ... but i'm sure if you are the one who is reading you .. you will understand )

maybe this is life ...
whenever you lose something which is important to you ..
you will learn to appreciate ..
you will realize that ... what you used to have .. is the best for you but you will never know till its gone ..
till its not yours ...
i may had used most of my time in working .. but i had never leave you aside .. you are always in my heart no matter what happen ...
i guess if i had never lose you .. i will never realize that you are so important to me ...
never realize that i love you that much ...
never realize i will cry for the same person that much ....

please wake up !!!!!!!!

its just frustrating to see people that go after things which they are not suppose to ... or ... go after a particular thing without listening to others that they actually cant achieve it ...
its so obvious that ... its not the right thing for you ... neither you're the right fit ...
everyone can see it well but not you ....
stubborn or i shall say stupid   sorry to say so .. but you are ...
so when you meet failure ... you will actually find substitution for it ... what i hated the most ... the substitution is something related to what you first desire ... and i don't believe that it is actually something true ... its just that you are desperate .. that's all ...
i think i shall stop here before my feeling turn worst ...

Can i start again ???

internship .. 

not that excited about it ... thought of going out to audit is better than stay in office doing prework ... 

but after i experience both .. both almost the same ... boring ... 

i started being so motivated on working and looking forward into it .. 

but things change ..

why ???

all i wanted is to stay focus on it .. and to do my very best  ...

but why ?? 

things keep pulling me down ... 

why do i have to struggle to work with my eye condition like this ??? 

will it eventually affect my performance ???
what can i do ??? 

can i start again with my faith shaken ???

My 1st day of internship !!

internship !!!!
started 3 days ago ...
i know this is a very late post .. but last few days was a lil complicating for me ...
1 June 2011 .. my very first day of internship ...
scary ... i was so so so nervous that morning ... almost pee on my pants ... haha .. jk .. i didnt ...
first day was boring .. started with simple introduction ... some document reading ... and to audit prework ...
my senior wasn't that friendly ... maybe still not that close to them ... they rarely talk in the office .. maybe our boss office is at our department ...
second day .. still boring ... nothing much to do ... some paper work ... and a prework that makes me headache ... figures ... but don't know what to do with it ... haha
third day ... almost the same ... continue with the prework ...
i wonder when can i go out to audit ???!!!!! faster la ....
however .. this is a new challenge of life ... and i'll do it !!!
good luck to all friends that are fighting out there !!!!!!

three months .. haiz ... can it be faster ???

Miss me ???

hey !!!!! i'm back !!!!!
been busy studying ... headache @.@ especially law ...
2 down 1 more to go ...
tax paper was fine ..
law paper was ...... damn bad .. damn bad .. so yeah ... not good !!!!!!!
another financial accounting to go .... dont know what it is ... hahahahahaha
will update my blog soon ... =)

YOU affect me the most ..

in some previous post ... i wanted to know what affects my mood the most .. so i had observed my mood swing ... this few days... my mood was perfectly fine ... even though something annoying happen ... ( example : annoying brother doing annoying thing) my mood will be affected but later on it will be fine .. ( won't be long)

today attend class normally... 

mood also normal ....

but mood starts to swing when i see you ...

it doesn't happen immediately but slowly when i starts to think .. 

doesn't mean that i don't want to see you .. i'm happy to see you as i have not been seeing you for some time ... 

you look perfectly stunning and smart .. my heartbeat skips whenever i see you ...

but WHY STILL MOOD SWING ???

this is the reason ... 

whenever i see you .. i can only either see you from far .. or we were being separated by a lot of peoples ... glass  wall ... =.= feels like we can never reach each other .. i cant never talk to you ... 

feels like there is a hard thick wall between us that i will never be able to break through to reach where you belong ... maybe away from you is where i belong ... 

chatting with Emily jie jie last Saturday and Sunday ....

makes me to think a lot too ...

a lot of questions arise in my mind that i wish to get answer for it .. 

the reason of what is happening between us is .. because ....

you actually enjoyed the feeling being loved or do u actually scared being hurt by me again ???

is this the reason why you are keeping me aside ??? 

or .. 

you actually wanted to take revenge on what i had did last time ??

(but i don't believe that you will do so because you are not this kind of person, if you are .. i seriously don't understand you) 

jie jie say ... why not ask him about my doubts bravely ... 

if i were that brave to ask him .. am i strong enough to accept his answer to me ??? will i be able to accept the truth ??? will everything end after i asked him ?? even our friendship ??? or i'll get hurt more ???

Not that easy ... maybe its just because i doesn't want to face the truth ... thats why i choose to hide from it .. 

I guess Lorna ain't strong after all ...

Back to what we are ...

usually driving moment is the time when i think the most ... 

i know its dangerous to do so .. but it happens naturally .. maybe its because i'm alone when i drive .. 

so thought fills up my mind ... 

and i'll start to wonder and think of this and that ... 

while driving back today .. as usual ... my lil car's music player will never be switched off .. cause i just love to listen to song ... and its connected to my phone all the time .. so normally i listen to my fav playlist ... 

haha .. 

actually is to fill my loneliness 

when the song BACK TO DECEMBER, Taylor Swift.. starts to play ... 

a strong emotion affected my feelings ... 

the lyrics once again cause my wound to bleed ... 

why does it reflect what happen so much ???


i'll tell you why ... 

You've been good busier than ever .. We small talk ,work and  the weather .. 

we didn't really talk to each other since that day .. we do chat sometimes in msn ... but its all about .. college .. your work ... assignments ... random stuff .. but nothing related to us .. its all about you or me ... the word us doesn't exists anymore ... 

Because the last time you saw me .. Is still burned in the back of your mind ..

what i did last time hurt you deeply .. you hated me for some reason which we both know ... i'm selfish in treating you badly... not loving you as much as i could ... never blame on what you had did to me now ... 

You gave me roses and i left them there to die .. 

remind me .. on presents that you had gave me ... roses ... a mickey mouse key-chain and a necklace ... 

which i didn't appreciate last time ... looking at the necklace now wishing you were right here with me .. hugging me .. telling me that you still love me ... 

It turns out freedom ain't nothing but missing you ... Wishing I'd realized what I had when you were mine ...

to realized how lucky to have you in my life last time .. if thing would change .. i'll appreciate you ... 

I go back to December , turn around and make it alright .. I go back to December all the time..

if i would go back to the past .. or to restart something in life .. i would restart everything between us .. and i promise to love you with all my heart and will never let you leave ...  

You gave me all your love, and all I gave you was goodbye ...

when you try to hold me tight .. all i did was to let go and to give up on this relationship .. i had never thought in saving this love and make it last ... i regretted ... 

I miss your tan skin, your sweet smile.. So good to me, so right .. And how you held me in your arms that September night.. The first time you ever saw me cry..

even though you are not tan .. i miss you .. miss the moment when we chat every night on phone .. missing your hugs ... missing you every day and night ... because of this tears visit me often ... remember the first time you saw me cry ?? was in the library ... you told me you wish to hug me tightly that moment ... but know all i can do is to cry myself to sleep ... without you knowing .. 

Maybe this is wishful thinking .. Probably mindless dreaming .. But if we loved again, I swear I'd love you right ...
i do wish to be with you again .. some may say i'm naive but .. i still love you .. and i'm still waiting .. 

This is me swallowing my pride .. Standing in front of you, saying I'm sorry for that night .. And I go back to December ..
if i have a chance ..i wish i could apologize to you and wish you would forgive me for what i did in the past ... 

I LOVE YOU ...

and this is why i love this song ... 
♥

another emo post ...

another 11 days till exam ...
but i have not start a single thing ..
ready to die ???
i feel so confused ... complicating feelings ...
try to listen to songs to calm down ...
but seems like every songs are related to you ...
each and every word in the lyrics reminds me of you ...

sorry

ARGHHH !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

second post of the day .. 

not a good sign ..

i'm stress enough ...

emo enough ..

headache enough ..

and yet ..

you still disturb me ... 

how many times i had told you about my feelings ... 

it doesn't work means it doesn't work ...

i got no feeling towards you .. and please respect my decision .. 

please respect me that i have someone who i love ...

and you clearly know who the person is ... 

its not about giving chances to others .. 

but feelings that matter ... 

i feel bad after telling you no .. after reject you again .. 

i feel guilty too ... 

shit .. can you not spoil my day .. when it is already not good ???

please just let me breathe normally for a day ...
you know very well that there is no way for our relationship as friend to go any further ... 

nothing more than a friend ...

and i'm sorry for hurting you again ...

you make it so hard for me ...

i hate to say no ... 

but you force me to do so ... 

i'm sorry once again ..

that i can't give you anything ..

because my heart is still occupied by the same person ...

someone who i love ...

no idea on what i'm crapping ... =.=

sometimes i might wonder ... why can't i get what i want all the time ... why can't i get whatever i wish for ... everything that i love .... one example is .. why can't i be with the one that i love ... where else some that i don't love keeps trying to be with me ( i'm not trying to show off here) its always been like that ... those that i don't want will stick around while those that i wish for will never stay .. DAMN IT !!!!!
i guess this is what life all about .. things that easily come will never be appreciate ... so have to work hard for what is desired ... complicating life ... feels tired sometimes .. but what to do .. still got to stand strong and deal with it ... got to smile even in pain ... got to laugh even not in mood ... hahahahaahahahahhahahahahahah ...

ARGHHH !!!! does this consider as wearing mask ??? is this fake ??? maybe ... i'm wearing a mask all the time ... to hide my .... haiz ... no point saying it out ... as no one understand ... all i can do is to write it out .. thank you blog ... thank you for listening to me all the time ... thank you for being with me whenever i need you ... BLOG I LOVE YOU !!!! obviously i'm crazy and out of my mind


sometimes really doesn't know how to deal with mood swing ... doesn't know how to control temper ... doesn't know how to dry up my tears ... DO YOU REALLY AFFECT  MY MOOD THAT MUCH ???!!!! never thought of that ... shall take note ... as to whether .. what affect my mood the most ... i'm currently facing high level of stress .. another 2 weeks to exam ... i know 0% of law , tax and fa ... good job lorna , for not paying attention in class ... i shall see how i suffer this semester ... and still not have any mood in studying ... haha ... i think i should be studying rather than crapping here .. but no choice .. i need place to let my anger and worries out ... how am i suppose to study for 3 subject in 3 weeks ???!!!!!
=.= haiz ... headache ...
-----------------------------------------------------THE END ---------------------------------------------------

moody

early morning .. 

mood starts to swing .. 

from good to extremely down ... 

wake up ..

like normal ... start my day with a smile on my face ... 

telling myself .. today will be a great day ... 

but thing start to change when i check my message ... 

suan .. 

don't want to talk about it .. i don't give a damn . 

went to state with mummy ....

 eat wan tan mee ..

on the way ... going home ... 

listen to 重來 .. 

then mood start to fall ...

 all i think was you !!!! 

haiz .. the lyrics make me think .. too much ... 

i need to stop thinking before my mood fall flat ... 

Never NEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes is difficult for me to tell people around me on how i feel .. especially things that i face and encounter everyday ...
all i need is to express out every feeling of mine ... what i see through my eyes ... sometimes make me sad .. disappointed of what happen in the world ... why would thing happen in such way .. in a way where human is so selfish, heartless and solipsistic .. all you think is you you you and no one else ...
people don't give a damn on how other feels ..

this happen most in relationship between people .. doesn't matter in friendship, couple, family .. sometimes it appears that this problem existed the most in close relationship ...

all i hate the most is people that make use of others who love you ...
never do so .. as this hurts the most ..
never drag people's love ... never make use of people , because they love you ..
they don't mind in sacrificing for you .. so appreciate it ...
if you can't give back love in return then walk away .. don't give people false hope ... don't make people fall into you love trap which hurts . because i believe what you give is what you get ..
tell them how you feel .. if the person who confesses to you is not your prince charming .. but once again .. don't take advantages towards the person ... never tell them to wait when you are sure things won't work out  and when there isn't any hope on it .. because when you say wait .. they will do so ... they might just wait and wait till one day they found out the ugly truth which hurts .. its better to reject them earlier and tell them its better to be friend than GIVING FALSE HOPE .. this doesn't make you a better person ..
so please ... DON'T DO SO .. IT HURTS TO THE MAX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you had never encounter it ... you may not know how painful it can be ... but if you continue to do so .. i believe one day you will feel the same thing ...
another thing .. when a guy confess to you .. and you had rejected .. then the guy doesn't belong to you ... never think that he will be yours even you had refused to  be with him .. SO NEVER GET JEALOUS WHEN OTHER GIRLS ARE CLOSE TO HIM ...

haha .. finally .. i can breathe ...

Soo Yee's 21st Birthday Celebration

my lao po's birthday ...
so syn plan 2 celebration for her ...
1st was going to Maison ... clubbing .. ( didn't make it to go cause my eye wasn't feeling well )
2nd was a surprise ...

we didn't make it to buy a present for her on time .. cause we are collecting money to buy her a LV purse ...
lao po .. wait for awhile ya .. soon we will buy you your love ... hehe ...

so .. Kwek's birthday was a gigantic card ... so what should i make for Soo yee ???
haha ...
my 2nd idea ... A BIRTHDAY VIDEO ... ( omg .. i still need another 2 idea .. anyone !!! can give me new ideas .. i need it ASAP .. another 1 coming up !!)

our surprise ... haha ...
on saturday night ...
we went to syn's hs nearby punya playground ...
we hide there ...
and syn bring her to the playground with the reason of us being late and go there for a walk .. even though its obvious that syn doesn't do that .. but we managed to hide from her sight .. weeee ~~~~ feels like we were playing hide and seek ...
so while they were walking around the playground .. we pop out and sang birthday song loudly with her birthday cake ...
then we showed her the video that we had prepared ...
surprisingly she burst out with tears... she felt touched watching our ugly looking video ...
haha ...

then we head to curve ... don't know what to do there so we went to laundry for drinks ... haha

its another fun night with ji muis ...
hopefully soo yee enjoyed her day ...

Kwek's 21st Birthday Party

Hehe ..
this is a super duper late post on my ji mui's birthday party ...
(sorry kwek ... for the delay .. due to assignments )
so this is the first 21st birthday party that i had celebrated for a friend this year ...
because it's a 21st birthday so i wanted to make something special ...
1st idea ... a GIGANTIC CARD !!! ( i need another 3 ideas for the other 3 ji muis =.=)
as for presents ... hahaha ...
we bought ... a total number of 5 presents
a small pouch ... voir
a handbag ... padini
a sexy dress ... forever 21
a pair of heels ... prima vera
a box of snacks and drinks and sweets ... Daiso

hehe ... gigantic card .. made by me , syn and soso ♥

held at Kwek's house ...
bbq party ...
hot but fun ...

as usual ... weird games ... with weird dares ... 

haha ... so its a fun night ..

i'm tired ..

sometimes i seriously don't understand what my life is all about ... still not sure what is going on and why will it happen in such way ..
do i have more choices in life ???
can i be carefree and stress free  ...
at least a day without problem ...
a day without worries ..
i thought that after letting go part of my sadness .. than i'll be able to breathe ...
but once one problem is gone .. another will appear ..
when will it stop ??? at least give me time to rest my mind ...
worries fills all over me .. but i do need to hide it .. hide it form everyone around me ...
maybe a smile could actually cover everything .. my pain .. my worries ... my emptiness ... my sadness ...
=)
lolo

Ready to let go ????

wow !!! had been 219 days ... 

without noticing that the time flies fast ... 

fast enough to forget you ???

 fast enough for my broken heart to heal ???

nope ...

 its not fast enough ...

 people around me will think its fast but not for me ... 

friends see me struggle ..

 especially ji mui ...

 struggle to get nearer to you ... struggle to let go ... struggle to live without you .. struggle to stand on my feet .. struggle to keep myself happy ..  struggle to put aside ... struggle to forget .. struggle to get used to the pain ... had you ever think how painful it was ... 

you might think that you are the only victim here .. you're the only one which get hurts when i leave you for the first time ... but you will never know how selfish you are ... but i had never blame you ... but from this i know who you are ... truly see it with my own eyes ... 

maybe you are right .. i know nothing about you at the first place ... and blindly being with you ...

i guess after all ... you were not the right one ... you may seems perfect to me last time .. but not anymore ... 

you were not the one that i wish for .. because i only wish to have someone who love me for who i am .. love me for me .. but nothing else ... i know you wont be able to accept my life ... 

in this 219 days ... things had change ... you had changed .. i had changed ... 

but guess what .. i had changed to be a stronger person ... a person who can stand up again when she falls .. someone who can laugh and be happy as who i am .. but not feeling bad of not being who you want me to be ...  sorry i cant be the girl that you want ... that would give you unlimited everything ... good luck to you in searching for your unlimited girl ... 

all i'll do now is to keep everything between us in a big box and keep it in my storeroom storage in my heart ... even though things doesn't work well between us before .. but i do appreciate everything ... moments that we spend ... happiness and sadness that we shared ... everything of yours ... will be the sweetest memories that i have .. thank you dear ... all i wish is to see you happy ... happy with what you have now ... one day you will find someone who gives you what you wish for ... but i'm sure that i'm not the one ... 

some friend asked me ... Finally give up on him ?? 

my answer: nope ... i didn't give up but i had let go of you .. so that both of us will find our own happiness .. no point to keep myself in dark and to cry every single night for the same reason ...

i do still love you .. 

but no longer want to be with you ... 

because things wont work out between us .. 

you may say its nonsense but loving you doesn't mean need to be with you .. all i hope was your happiness ... love can be as simple as that ... can be as easy as that ... its just how you accept it ...

after all this ... i guess ... love isn't something easy for me ...

 even though i had become stronger .. 

i do feel insecure ..

even though ..

sometimes i might miss the feeling to love and being loved .. 

but ..

something terrified me to love again .. 

what if it doesn't work again .. what if i met MR. WRONG again ??? i am afraid ... afraid to step out another step to love ... afraid being hurt .. afraid of never meet my MR. Right ...


i'm terrified to love for the first time ...


love lolo ♥

WEEEEEEeeeeeee~~~~~~ happy

haha .. i just got my internship ...
even though its not a big company or any of the big four .. but i'm happy with what i get ...
haha ... 1 thing which makes me more happy is ..
NO INTERVIEW NEEDED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i'm starting my internship on 1st of JUNE !!!
excited but yet scary ...
will do my best for the 3 months ...
besides that .. what makes me happy is ...
I'M GOING TO WORK WITH EMILY JIE JIE , LEY NYIN, JEFFREY, YONG CHING & CHERRY ( if she accept the job) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
weeee~~~~~~~~~happy ... haha
hahaha  ~~~~ its time to go shopping .. shop for formal wear .. haha

*even though i should be happy right now but don;t know why i'm emo*

Choices ...

if you were given a choice to choose between :

1) friendship which slowly turns to relationship 

or 

2) straight get into a relationship with the person 

???

there are ..

of course ..

goods and bads ..

to both options ..

but if you were to choose ...

which will be your option ...

??

Boring !!!!!!!

when there is assignment .. i wish to have more time to sleep ...

when i had finished all assignment .. n have plenty time to sleep .. i wish to have something to do ... 

it is always like that .. haha ... 

since there is another 1 month to exam .. i think i should start studying now .. MUST STUDY WELL !!!!

hahaha .. ok ok .. i'll my revision tomorrow .. haha ... weeee~~~~~~

haiz ... suddenly not in mood .. maybe is because of you .. 

you suddenly moody ... but i don't know why ...

=(

Sorry =(

i had noticed that something had changed since what happened that day ..
you tend to be overly reacted whenever i am angry ..
you tend to be too serious over my reaction and also on what i did ...
hmm ... am i the one which cause all this mess ???
i'm sorry .. i don't mean to make you feel bad ... i don't mean to put you in a difficult situation ..
we used to play around ... we can talk about anything ... but now things had change ..
you control everything that you do ... try not to do something which may make me angry ... avoid sensitive issues ... you would do everything that i want even if you don't feel like doing ... what happened today is obvious that you are not happy but you keep everything to yourself ... but you choose not to tell me ... from what you had replied in your message .. i know if one day you got fed up with this , our friendship will end ...
maybe i should change .. change to be a friend that cause no trouble to you ...
Sorry ..

MY RESULTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

before i forget ..
finally ... RESULTS IS OUT !!!!
had been waiting for ages ... since the previous semester exam ..
My results !!!!!!!!!! is !!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha ... .
ok ok ler .. not as what i expected but ... still good .... hahaha ..
expectation too high ... XD
is ok Lorna .. we will do better for the coming exam ...
will not give up but to continue to strive for excellent results ...
GPA 4 !

love lolo

SATISFACTION !!!!

sfinally i managed to sit in front of my laptop and continue my blog ...
had been a super busy week for me ... 3 assignment where all due date are close to each other ... Tuesday ... Friday .. and Finally 2day ... (never do your assignment last minute)
law ... Financial accounting .. taxation ... is so so so difficult ... most time was spent in searching for information ..
gosh .. this would be the toughest assignment i had encounter till now ...  but i'm pretty sure that i did well on it ... haha .. ( a lil perasan )
Phewwwwww ..... i can finally rest my brain .. most probably my brain is overheated now .. need a lot a lot a lot of rest ... what i need the most is sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i had only managed to sleep less than 24 hours within a week ... 3 hours per day .. 1 week = 21hours ... OMG !!! @.@ i only slept for 21 hours in a week ..
sleep late .. wake up early .. @.@
i can feel the dizziness now .. haha ... even though its tiring ...  i can feel the satisfaction in completing my assignment with 100% of effort ..  =) weeeee~~~~~~~ i'm so so so happy now ...
BUT !!!!
i'm so so so so nervous now ...
having my presentation tomorrow ...
what i hate the most is to talk in front of people ... haiz .. low self confident ...
i wish everything will be fine tomorrow =)

even though it had been a busy week for me ..i had managed to help out in AFC's treasure hunt last saturday ...
haha .. it's super fun to watch the participant to play .. wish i could play too .. haha .. too bad i got to work ...
its also fun being part of the committee
the fun moment was filling water into balloon during preparation time ... haha ...
its actually difficult to do so at the beginning ..
special skills needed ... haha ...
while waiting for participant to arrive at our station .. we spend our time playing with the water balloons and picture time .. haha ...

picture wit sonny and yee ping baby <3
haha ... colourful balloon...
my new blog picture ...

haha .. i guess tonight i'll have a good sleep ..
=)
Love lolo

I want it to be perfect !!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW !!!!!
just noticed that my last post was on the 17th of March ... ad now its already 3rd of April ..
i guess i'm too busy getting my assignment done and make sure everything is fine ... as usual .. perfection !!!!!
being a perfectionist ain't easy .. but i am one ... this is why i push myself to the limit and get everything single thing that i am able to think out from my brain for my assignment ... i guess i stress myself too much ...
i was wondering just now .. what happens if i cant make it ??? what happens if i cant reach what i had always wanted ??? will tis tears me apart ???
haha ...
the more stressful i am .. the lazier i will be ...
so .. i'm still sitting in front of my lappy and do nothing ...
i feel like sleeping ... *yawn* -o-
i feel tired ...
i guess i should concentrate back on assignment ...
tata ...
will post when i'm free ...
haha

thank you for being a 'good' friend of mine ..

how real are you ????

while you are still wondering why i asked so ... 

continue reading the post ....

imagine you are standing in middle of a cross road .. where there are millions of people crossing the road ... people which you may not be familiar with or people which u may know ... not important .. but can you see who they really are deep inside ...  ???? 

you may face the same person every second ... minutes ... hours ... days .. weeks ... years ... forever and yet you may not know the person ... and you will be afraid of how real they could be when they were with you ..
some people may seems to be extremely sweet , nice , kind , friendly and kind-hearted but once you're not around they transform to an evil devil thats talks bad about you .... or even betray you ...
this not the first time where this problem encounters my life ... its been countless time .. but i do still get sick of it .. and i'm sad about it ..
what did i do wrong till you would talk bad about me and almost everyone know about it ... if you are not satisfied with what i did .. i would appreciate it if you confront me about it .. and i would like to listen to it ...
if you claim that i'm unfriendly then you are wrong .. and you don't know me ! if you said i'm snobbish .. i'm super ordinary and i don't seek attention much in class ...
if you say i'm fierce .. i may agree but its just because i don't smile a lot ...
i had think the whole day but i seriously cant figure out what i did wrong ....
all i know is .. i treat u as my close friend but if you don't appreciate this friendship .. its your problem because i appreciate every friendship of mine ...
if this is what you trying to do to make me fall .. then i'm sorry because you will never succeed ..

Complicated

hmm ...
i've been thinking a few days what to write for my next post ..
i have a few topic in mind but somehow i cant turn them into words like i used to be ...
seems like there's lot of thing in my mind but i'm not sure what ...
one thing i'm sure is assignment is definitely the reason why i stressed out now ..
the other reason is .. hmmm ... you know what ... haiz ...

BAD DAY !!!!

*sigh* ............

while i was thinking how to start this post ... i was recalling what happen this evening ...

this is the worst and unluckiest day of my life ... 

agrhhh ... my poor little myvi ... 

ok .. this is what happen ...

11.30am - reach college as usual ... park my car IN SEGI'S CARPARK .. (outdoor, left wing, near Sri KDU)

12.00pm - class start ... 

3.00pm - class ended ... walk to car with SY, LS & Kwek ...

from far .. i noticed that my car is super dirty .. cover with dust and dunno what ... 

OMG .. I was wondering why my car get so dirty .... 

walk nearer .. dirtier ... and when i reach my car .. SHIT .. MY BACK WINDSCREEN HAD CRACK AND THE SIDE HAD COMPLETELY BREAK INTO PIECES !!!!!!  my heart fall onto the fall and break into pieces like the mirror ... Almost cry my lung out but i didn't ... 

this looks like its dirty rite ?? i wish it was ..

Its cracked and small pieces of glass is falling off 

when ever we close the door .. the small pieces of glass will fall off ... 

was clueless about what happen to my car .. called my mom .... she is super worry .. called dad ... and he got no reaction in the beginning .. then slowly got reaction.. =.= 

while waiting ...so we went to the security house to figure out what happen ... this is the hilarious part ...

Me: Kereta i park kat situ ( pointing towards the carpark area) ... cermin belakang saya sudah pecah !!!!!! so skrg macam mane ..

Security: kereta 8099 ar ???

Me: Bukan bukan .. W**8199 la ... apa jadi??

Security: ya la .. itu 8099 la ... 

Me: BUKAN 8199 la ..

Security: ok ok ... (went into the security house and search for a damn report book) ini la ... sudah report la ..

Me : sudah report ?? sape report ?? apa jadi ???

Security: tadi 10.30 ada saya punya rakan(security he mean) ada nampak .. sudah report ..

Me: 10.30 ???? ( if u notife just now .. i reach college at 11.30.. 10.30 i'm still at home watching CSI:NY with my sis) saya 10.30 belum sampai college la ... say sampai 11.30 ...

Security: bukan .. 10.30 buat report ( i guess he can see the future) 

Me: SAYA SAMPAI PUKUL 11.30 LA !!!!!!! ( I'm so pissed off and he keep on argue about what time i reach and all i wanted to know is what happen) SO APA SAYA  BOLEH BUAT ???!!!!!!!! MACAM MANE SKRG ?!?!?!

Security: said nothing but place back his damn and walk to my car ...

reach my car .

Security: tengok sini sudah pecah .. tepi sini .. ( point toward the side of my car mirror as if i cant see it myself)

Me: bukan tepi saja laa .. tengok semua sudah pecah !!! tengok sini ..

Security: bukan bukan tepi saja ( wth .. wear your glasses la .. everyone can see the whole mirror had cracked)

Me:*point point* tengok betul betul .. SINI !!!!

Security: he just walk of like that .. 

waaaa .. good service from the security ... i think he doesn't understand what i'm saying .. haha 

i wondered why the security can't see its fully cracked and yet still want to argue its just the side ...

still clueless right .. ask an idiot for answer .. he gave me rubbish .. don't worry you will get back from me one day ... then no choice and don't know what to do and who to find .. called euder for help .. asked to me to find kapten roslee ( i guess this is the spelling)

find him also difficult ... people throw me here and there .. finally found him ... went to see my car .... say it should be the work of next door ... Sri KDU is under construction .. so yah .. its their fault .. dad arrived when argue with them ... the project manager asked my dad to wait then kena scolding from my dad .. haha ... so at last they agreed to pay for the mirror ... cause if not my dad will sue them .. cause they didn't do fencing for safety purpose ..  this time cause my mirror to crack due to their carelessness .. will next time be injuring people ???  and yet nothing is done by segi or sri kdu... as usual they won't do anything .. haiz

so immediately my dad ask people to replace the mirror .. efficient .. 30 minutes and ta dah !!!! my car is fixed ... but still i'm super unlucky today .. SO FOR U GUYS WHICH PARK IN SEGI >> PLEASE DO NOT PARK YOUR CAR NEAR SRI KDU CONSTRUCTION SITE CAUSE YOU WILL END UP LIKE ME IF YOU'RE UNLUCKY !!! so good luck parking your car in segi cause when you are in trouble .. no one will help you but throwing you here and there ..