I'm still human !!!

After what had happened ... i had stop posting about him ... stop thinking ... stop talking .... stop dreaming everything about him ... i thought this is the BEST way to let go of it ... let go of the sadness ...

All this while .. i thought i'm doing great .... i'm not sad anymore ... i'm not emo anymore ... things about him doesn't affect me anymore ... 

life had been much better ... more simple ... i'll do whatever i want .. whenever i feel like doing it ... 

i am fine till class starts ... the first day of class should be very exciting for me ... i will normally feel happy and excited to go to the first class of the new semester because i get to catch up with friends and to see them again .. of cause also back to study is fun =) 

but the first day for me is like hell .. i don't feel like going college ... that day i reluctantly feel like getting my butt out of the house ...  cause i am afraid .. afraid that i will bump into  him ... how should i react ?? ignore ??? pretend that i didn't see him ?? or should i just smile and walk off ??? i am not ready to see him ... cause i'm not sure how would i feel ... will he affect me again after seeing him ?? i wish not to be sad anymore ... i just want to be happy with my life being who lolo is and move on with it ... 

seriously not sure about how i feel ... but if one day, i really bump into him then we will see what happen at that moment .. maybe he is the one who pretend not to see me ... but not matter what ... doesn't matter ... 

now ... i know where do i stand ... i wont walk back into the dark ... i'll continue to be where i am ... 

so we shall wait and see ... who knows .. maybe when i see him ... i know i had let go .. completely ... 

^.^ so wish me luck ...
p.s. i dont hate him .. i still keep him as my friend .. but it all depends ... whether he is kind enough to let go of the past and be friends again ..=) 

Love , 

lolo