Bye January ..

its the end of January .. this months had been a hectic yet joyful month ..
Chinese New Year ... boring festive ... spend money like water .. i'm gonna be broke for the the whole February ...  it's a good thing i guess ...
know what ?? i hate February .... especially 14/2 .. Valentine's Day ... without fail ... i'll be all alone , looking at the ceiling ... imagining being with someone who i love ... *piak piak* wake up la ..
maybe it's faith that i'll be alone for valentine ... relationship will never last that long .. or relationship end before valentine ... had never celebrate valentine .. receiving roses ... being together with another half .. being extremly sweet for a special day .. even though people say .. everyday can be valentine if two person are able to be together .. but to me valentine is something different .. a day where we can look into each other eyes .. look at what we had accomplished together .. share every moment we have .. a day where we celebrate our love .. haha .. but i'll never have the chance to fell it ..
as usual valentine gonna be alone ... how many times had i repeated that i'm alone 
so yeah .. valentine .. boring time .. go out all red red pink pink love love heart heart couple couple ..
better stay at home ..

I'm waiting ...

Am I still waiting for the same person ??
Sigh ...
I know .. I should have let go ...
Am I ??
I'm afraid of taking chances ..

What is not enough ??

I'm really sick of people telling me that I'm not enough .., can I be me ??? Just me ??? Pls .. All I wan is to be happy with my life .. All I wan is to be happy of who I am but why people keep asking me to change ? Because I'm not enough . Not wat you want me to be .. Not what you expected to be . I'm tired crying myself to sleep . The one that I love whole heartedly says that I'm not enough for him .. Because of not being enough I change my life to meet his expectation . What do I get at the end ??? Nth but a few deep wounds in my heart and he left me just like that without a single explanation . Yes I'm not enough this is all I thought of .. The reason he left ... This leave me in deep pain .... my confident level drop massively ... I fail .. i fail to hold myself together to be who I am  . All I blame is me being not enough . But what is enough to you ? Will I be able to change to ur perfect girl ? But if I manage to change one thing for him will he request for more changes in the future . Then I never be who I am but a girl who u desire . I used to love who I am ... Be who lorna is ... But after you left .... I had become the weak me ... The low confident girl that never look up while walking through college halls .. never dare to look at unfamiliar people .... Dressing had change ... most people say so ... i remember i used to dress well to college ... skirt .. high heels ... nice tops ... dresses ...  but i had never dress like that anymore ... now i only wear t shirt slippers shorts to college ... I'm not who I used to be ... Because your one selfish word change my life ... To worst ... No one know how I feel ... How I cry myself to sleep every night I blame myself for being not enough ... some people say .. the more you fall the more you should stand up and walk again .. but i cant really find my way .. everywhere seems dark and cold ... i'm standing all alone waiting for your help .. i waited silently .. when will i wake up from this nightmare ??? will i ??

heart had never been as pain as how it is now .. everyone around me say im not enough .. what is enough ???? WHAT ??? everyday i look at the mirror i see tears .. i see fake smile on me .. a smile to camouflage my pain .. what can i do ?? change to what everyone desire but not myself .. ???

I'm tired .... Really tired ... All I wish for is a simple life like I used to have with you .. But it will never happen again . What is past will never come back ... when will I be able to stand up for myself again ??? looking for love which could last seems difficult .. everyone desire for beautiful things .. beautiful girls .. can i find something simple ??? something pure ???

i thought i could find someone who would share my heart ... share every little things that i have .. accept who i am .. but maybe i'm wrong .. no one will ... cause it will only come back to the same conclusions ... changes need to be made ... why do you wan me to change ??? does this mean that you can't accept me as who i am .. after thinking crying .. i had decide to walk away ... walk away from everything which is happening now .. all i want is to be simple me .. a new life for myself .. i will only make changes for myself .. changes that i want but not anyone else in the world .. I'm sorry that i will never change for you .. because i love myself more ...

Love,
Lornalsq
=)

Hello 2012 !!!!!

wow .. 2011 had leave .. and here comes 2012 ..
WELCOME !!!!! Great year ahead ..
Hopefully more great things come into my life ..
waiting for miracle to happen =)
still same resolutions .. added a few ..
yup ..
NEW YEAR !! NEW LOLO
I PROMISE !!!!