moody

early morning .. 

mood starts to swing .. 

from good to extremely down ... 

wake up ..

like normal ... start my day with a smile on my face ... 

telling myself .. today will be a great day ... 

but thing start to change when i check my message ... 

suan .. 

don't want to talk about it .. i don't give a damn . 

went to state with mummy ....

 eat wan tan mee ..

on the way ... going home ... 

listen to 重來 .. 

then mood start to fall ...

 all i think was you !!!! 

haiz .. the lyrics make me think .. too much ... 

i need to stop thinking before my mood fall flat ... 

Never NEVER !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sometimes is difficult for me to tell people around me on how i feel .. especially things that i face and encounter everyday ...
all i need is to express out every feeling of mine ... what i see through my eyes ... sometimes make me sad .. disappointed of what happen in the world ... why would thing happen in such way .. in a way where human is so selfish, heartless and solipsistic .. all you think is you you you and no one else ...
people don't give a damn on how other feels ..

this happen most in relationship between people .. doesn't matter in friendship, couple, family .. sometimes it appears that this problem existed the most in close relationship ...

all i hate the most is people that make use of others who love you ...
never do so .. as this hurts the most ..
never drag people's love ... never make use of people , because they love you ..
they don't mind in sacrificing for you .. so appreciate it ...
if you can't give back love in return then walk away .. don't give people false hope ... don't make people fall into you love trap which hurts . because i believe what you give is what you get ..
tell them how you feel .. if the person who confesses to you is not your prince charming .. but once again .. don't take advantages towards the person ... never tell them to wait when you are sure things won't work out  and when there isn't any hope on it .. because when you say wait .. they will do so ... they might just wait and wait till one day they found out the ugly truth which hurts .. its better to reject them earlier and tell them its better to be friend than GIVING FALSE HOPE .. this doesn't make you a better person ..
so please ... DON'T DO SO .. IT HURTS TO THE MAX !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! you had never encounter it ... you may not know how painful it can be ... but if you continue to do so .. i believe one day you will feel the same thing ...
another thing .. when a guy confess to you .. and you had rejected .. then the guy doesn't belong to you ... never think that he will be yours even you had refused to  be with him .. SO NEVER GET JEALOUS WHEN OTHER GIRLS ARE CLOSE TO HIM ...

haha .. finally .. i can breathe ...

Soo Yee's 21st Birthday Celebration

my lao po's birthday ...
so syn plan 2 celebration for her ...
1st was going to Maison ... clubbing .. ( didn't make it to go cause my eye wasn't feeling well )
2nd was a surprise ...

we didn't make it to buy a present for her on time .. cause we are collecting money to buy her a LV purse ...
lao po .. wait for awhile ya .. soon we will buy you your love ... hehe ...

so .. Kwek's birthday was a gigantic card ... so what should i make for Soo yee ???
haha ...
my 2nd idea ... A BIRTHDAY VIDEO ... ( omg .. i still need another 2 idea .. anyone !!! can give me new ideas .. i need it ASAP .. another 1 coming up !!)

our surprise ... haha ...
on saturday night ...
we went to syn's hs nearby punya playground ...
we hide there ...
and syn bring her to the playground with the reason of us being late and go there for a walk .. even though its obvious that syn doesn't do that .. but we managed to hide from her sight .. weeee ~~~~ feels like we were playing hide and seek ...
so while they were walking around the playground .. we pop out and sang birthday song loudly with her birthday cake ...
then we showed her the video that we had prepared ...
surprisingly she burst out with tears... she felt touched watching our ugly looking video ...
haha ...

then we head to curve ... don't know what to do there so we went to laundry for drinks ... haha

its another fun night with ji muis ...
hopefully soo yee enjoyed her day ...

Kwek's 21st Birthday Party

Hehe ..
this is a super duper late post on my ji mui's birthday party ...
(sorry kwek ... for the delay .. due to assignments )
so this is the first 21st birthday party that i had celebrated for a friend this year ...
because it's a 21st birthday so i wanted to make something special ...
1st idea ... a GIGANTIC CARD !!! ( i need another 3 ideas for the other 3 ji muis =.=)
as for presents ... hahaha ...
we bought ... a total number of 5 presents
a small pouch ... voir
a handbag ... padini
a sexy dress ... forever 21
a pair of heels ... prima vera
a box of snacks and drinks and sweets ... Daiso

hehe ... gigantic card .. made by me , syn and soso ♥

held at Kwek's house ...
bbq party ...
hot but fun ...

as usual ... weird games ... with weird dares ... 

haha ... so its a fun night ..

i'm tired ..

sometimes i seriously don't understand what my life is all about ... still not sure what is going on and why will it happen in such way ..
do i have more choices in life ???
can i be carefree and stress free  ...
at least a day without problem ...
a day without worries ..
i thought that after letting go part of my sadness .. than i'll be able to breathe ...
but once one problem is gone .. another will appear ..
when will it stop ??? at least give me time to rest my mind ...
worries fills all over me .. but i do need to hide it .. hide it form everyone around me ...
maybe a smile could actually cover everything .. my pain .. my worries ... my emptiness ... my sadness ...
=)
lolo

Ready to let go ????

wow !!! had been 219 days ... 

without noticing that the time flies fast ... 

fast enough to forget you ???

 fast enough for my broken heart to heal ???

nope ...

 its not fast enough ...

 people around me will think its fast but not for me ... 

friends see me struggle ..

 especially ji mui ...

 struggle to get nearer to you ... struggle to let go ... struggle to live without you .. struggle to stand on my feet .. struggle to keep myself happy ..  struggle to put aside ... struggle to forget .. struggle to get used to the pain ... had you ever think how painful it was ... 

you might think that you are the only victim here .. you're the only one which get hurts when i leave you for the first time ... but you will never know how selfish you are ... but i had never blame you ... but from this i know who you are ... truly see it with my own eyes ... 

maybe you are right .. i know nothing about you at the first place ... and blindly being with you ...

i guess after all ... you were not the right one ... you may seems perfect to me last time .. but not anymore ... 

you were not the one that i wish for .. because i only wish to have someone who love me for who i am .. love me for me .. but nothing else ... i know you wont be able to accept my life ... 

in this 219 days ... things had change ... you had changed .. i had changed ... 

but guess what .. i had changed to be a stronger person ... a person who can stand up again when she falls .. someone who can laugh and be happy as who i am .. but not feeling bad of not being who you want me to be ...  sorry i cant be the girl that you want ... that would give you unlimited everything ... good luck to you in searching for your unlimited girl ... 

all i'll do now is to keep everything between us in a big box and keep it in my storeroom storage in my heart ... even though things doesn't work well between us before .. but i do appreciate everything ... moments that we spend ... happiness and sadness that we shared ... everything of yours ... will be the sweetest memories that i have .. thank you dear ... all i wish is to see you happy ... happy with what you have now ... one day you will find someone who gives you what you wish for ... but i'm sure that i'm not the one ... 

some friend asked me ... Finally give up on him ?? 

my answer: nope ... i didn't give up but i had let go of you .. so that both of us will find our own happiness .. no point to keep myself in dark and to cry every single night for the same reason ...

i do still love you .. 

but no longer want to be with you ... 

because things wont work out between us .. 

you may say its nonsense but loving you doesn't mean need to be with you .. all i hope was your happiness ... love can be as simple as that ... can be as easy as that ... its just how you accept it ...

after all this ... i guess ... love isn't something easy for me ...

 even though i had become stronger .. 

i do feel insecure ..

even though ..

sometimes i might miss the feeling to love and being loved .. 

but ..

something terrified me to love again .. 

what if it doesn't work again .. what if i met MR. WRONG again ??? i am afraid ... afraid to step out another step to love ... afraid being hurt .. afraid of never meet my MR. Right ...


i'm terrified to love for the first time ...


love lolo ♥

WEEEEEEeeeeeee~~~~~~ happy

haha .. i just got my internship ...
even though its not a big company or any of the big four .. but i'm happy with what i get ...
haha ... 1 thing which makes me more happy is ..
NO INTERVIEW NEEDED !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
so i'm starting my internship on 1st of JUNE !!!
excited but yet scary ...
will do my best for the 3 months ...
besides that .. what makes me happy is ...
I'M GOING TO WORK WITH EMILY JIE JIE , LEY NYIN, JEFFREY, YONG CHING & CHERRY ( if she accept the job) !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
weeee~~~~~~~~~happy ... haha
hahaha  ~~~~ its time to go shopping .. shop for formal wear .. haha

*even though i should be happy right now but don;t know why i'm emo*

Choices ...

if you were given a choice to choose between :

1) friendship which slowly turns to relationship 

or 

2) straight get into a relationship with the person 

???

there are ..

of course ..

goods and bads ..

to both options ..

but if you were to choose ...

which will be your option ...

??

Boring !!!!!!!

when there is assignment .. i wish to have more time to sleep ...

when i had finished all assignment .. n have plenty time to sleep .. i wish to have something to do ... 

it is always like that .. haha ... 

since there is another 1 month to exam .. i think i should start studying now .. MUST STUDY WELL !!!!

hahaha .. ok ok .. i'll my revision tomorrow .. haha ... weeee~~~~~~

haiz ... suddenly not in mood .. maybe is because of you .. 

you suddenly moody ... but i don't know why ...

=(

Sorry =(

i had noticed that something had changed since what happened that day ..
you tend to be overly reacted whenever i am angry ..
you tend to be too serious over my reaction and also on what i did ...
hmm ... am i the one which cause all this mess ???
i'm sorry .. i don't mean to make you feel bad ... i don't mean to put you in a difficult situation ..
we used to play around ... we can talk about anything ... but now things had change ..
you control everything that you do ... try not to do something which may make me angry ... avoid sensitive issues ... you would do everything that i want even if you don't feel like doing ... what happened today is obvious that you are not happy but you keep everything to yourself ... but you choose not to tell me ... from what you had replied in your message .. i know if one day you got fed up with this , our friendship will end ...
maybe i should change .. change to be a friend that cause no trouble to you ...
Sorry ..

MY RESULTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

before i forget ..
finally ... RESULTS IS OUT !!!!
had been waiting for ages ... since the previous semester exam ..
My results !!!!!!!!!! is !!!!!!!!!!!!! hahahahahahaha ... .
ok ok ler .. not as what i expected but ... still good .... hahaha ..
expectation too high ... XD
is ok Lorna .. we will do better for the coming exam ...
will not give up but to continue to strive for excellent results ...
GPA 4 !

love lolo

SATISFACTION !!!!

sfinally i managed to sit in front of my laptop and continue my blog ...
had been a super busy week for me ... 3 assignment where all due date are close to each other ... Tuesday ... Friday .. and Finally 2day ... (never do your assignment last minute)
law ... Financial accounting .. taxation ... is so so so difficult ... most time was spent in searching for information ..
gosh .. this would be the toughest assignment i had encounter till now ...  but i'm pretty sure that i did well on it ... haha .. ( a lil perasan )
Phewwwwww ..... i can finally rest my brain .. most probably my brain is overheated now .. need a lot a lot a lot of rest ... what i need the most is sleep !!!!!!!!!!!!! i guess i had only managed to sleep less than 24 hours within a week ... 3 hours per day .. 1 week = 21hours ... OMG !!! @.@ i only slept for 21 hours in a week ..
sleep late .. wake up early .. @.@
i can feel the dizziness now .. haha ... even though its tiring ...  i can feel the satisfaction in completing my assignment with 100% of effort ..  =) weeeee~~~~~~~ i'm so so so happy now ...
BUT !!!!
i'm so so so so nervous now ...
having my presentation tomorrow ...
what i hate the most is to talk in front of people ... haiz .. low self confident ...
i wish everything will be fine tomorrow =)

even though it had been a busy week for me ..i had managed to help out in AFC's treasure hunt last saturday ...
haha .. it's super fun to watch the participant to play .. wish i could play too .. haha .. too bad i got to work ...
its also fun being part of the committee
the fun moment was filling water into balloon during preparation time ... haha ...
its actually difficult to do so at the beginning ..
special skills needed ... haha ...
while waiting for participant to arrive at our station .. we spend our time playing with the water balloons and picture time .. haha ...

picture wit sonny and yee ping baby <3
haha ... colourful balloon...
my new blog picture ...

haha .. i guess tonight i'll have a good sleep ..
=)
Love lolo

I want it to be perfect !!!!!!!!!!!!

WOW !!!!!
just noticed that my last post was on the 17th of March ... ad now its already 3rd of April ..
i guess i'm too busy getting my assignment done and make sure everything is fine ... as usual .. perfection !!!!!
being a perfectionist ain't easy .. but i am one ... this is why i push myself to the limit and get everything single thing that i am able to think out from my brain for my assignment ... i guess i stress myself too much ...
i was wondering just now .. what happens if i cant make it ??? what happens if i cant reach what i had always wanted ??? will tis tears me apart ???
haha ...
the more stressful i am .. the lazier i will be ...
so .. i'm still sitting in front of my lappy and do nothing ...
i feel like sleeping ... *yawn* -o-
i feel tired ...
i guess i should concentrate back on assignment ...
tata ...
will post when i'm free ...
haha