YOU affect me the most ..

in some previous post ... i wanted to know what affects my mood the most .. so i had observed my mood swing ... this few days... my mood was perfectly fine ... even though something annoying happen ... ( example : annoying brother doing annoying thing) my mood will be affected but later on it will be fine .. ( won't be long)

today attend class normally... 

mood also normal ....

but mood starts to swing when i see you ...

it doesn't happen immediately but slowly when i starts to think .. 

doesn't mean that i don't want to see you .. i'm happy to see you as i have not been seeing you for some time ... 

you look perfectly stunning and smart .. my heartbeat skips whenever i see you ...

but WHY STILL MOOD SWING ???

this is the reason ... 

whenever i see you .. i can only either see you from far .. or we were being separated by a lot of peoples ... glass  wall ... =.= feels like we can never reach each other .. i cant never talk to you ... 

feels like there is a hard thick wall between us that i will never be able to break through to reach where you belong ... maybe away from you is where i belong ... 

chatting with Emily jie jie last Saturday and Sunday ....

makes me to think a lot too ...

a lot of questions arise in my mind that i wish to get answer for it .. 

the reason of what is happening between us is .. because ....

you actually enjoyed the feeling being loved or do u actually scared being hurt by me again ???

is this the reason why you are keeping me aside ??? 

or .. 

you actually wanted to take revenge on what i had did last time ??

(but i don't believe that you will do so because you are not this kind of person, if you are .. i seriously don't understand you) 

jie jie say ... why not ask him about my doubts bravely ... 

if i were that brave to ask him .. am i strong enough to accept his answer to me ??? will i be able to accept the truth ??? will everything end after i asked him ?? even our friendship ??? or i'll get hurt more ???

Not that easy ... maybe its just because i doesn't want to face the truth ... thats why i choose to hide from it .. 

I guess Lorna ain't strong after all ...