My good news and bad news

after all .. i'm back to nothing again .. \

I got good news and bad news ..
good news . I got First Class Degree !!!!!
haha .. something that I'm proud of myself ..
all the hard work pays off  ... this is the biggest achievement in life ..
I'm happy for myself ..

here come bad news ..
I'm officially heart broken again ..
yup .. I gave up on him ... same as him ..
he felt that he is not the one I want .. and I deserve better ..
maybe he is right .. I deserve someone better than a jerk that is afraid of taking up responsibilities ..
or .. the other part of the truth is .. he think he need someone better than me ..
of course who don't dream to have a barbie doll girlfriend .. I wish you luck if barbie doll is what you want ..
whatever it is .. is not my problem anymore because I had did what I should and I wont regret about it ..
I should be crying now .. but I didn't ..
if you think it doesn't hurts .. then you are wrong .. it hurts badly ..
maybe the tears are not ready yet .. but somehow ..
I feel like crying too ..

after awhile ... I do a lot of thinking ..
I achieve pretty much of thing in life ..
one thing I'm very proud of is study ..
second thing is I'm proud of who I am now ..
third I'm proud of the ability that I have in taking care of my family .. after so many years .. I think I did pretty good job in taking care of them .. I can cook ... I can do housework .. I can do a lot of thing .. that some guys cant even do ..
forth I'm proud of how responsible I am in being who I should all this while .. maybe this is one of the reason why guys can't handle me .. I'm too independent and tough .. I handle everything on my own ..
fifth I'm proud of Lorna ... because .. she falls and stand up once again .. she falls and stand up again .. she learn and become stronger .. I love you girl .. because you are strong ..

but one thing .. just one thing in life that still sucks .. love and relationship ..
one thing that I fail the most .. is this ...
why ???
am I really that difficult to be with ?? or actually I'm too good and made people feel that they can't be with me ??
all I need is someone that can share part of me .. someone who care and love .. that's all ..
but it seems difficult ..
I'm tired to stand all by myself ..
I need someone ............... but its difficult ..



Lornalsq