its the end again ??

I placed my last hope on this trip ...
I didn't expect much from this trip .. because I don't want to end with disappointment ...
All I hope for is we could enjoy the first trip or maybe the last trip together ...
Seeing you laugh and smile is the happiest thing I could ever imagine ..
My last hope on you ended this morning at 11 something ..
One of my best friend .. said I should get things clear between you and me ...
if you didn't show anything that you want to be with me ..
then I should get to know the truth what is going on between us ..
I can't live in silence when you drift away quietly without telling me what happen ..
I can't stand watching you leave me without knowing what I did wrong ..
I can't get my heart broken again .. who give a damn ?? its shattered again ..
When I thought you give me the new reason to live .. you took it away again ..
why is this happening again ?? this is the third time ..
you change in silence and you didn't voice out the problem till I asked ...
you stop being nice to me so that we won't fall more for each other ??
what bullshit are you giving me ??
all this is resemble .. sentencing someone to death without a reason ...

this time .. problem was ..
people around care to much for me .. and you are afraid that they would blame you for not treating me well ..
oh well .. is this my problem too ???
why ??

every time I found a reason to smile .. you will take it away from me again ..
i'm gonna wake up everyday without a reason to live once again ..

I thought you walked into my life to stop my tears ..
but i'm wrong ..
you leave me in dark again ..

why is all this rubbish happening all over and over again ??