I doubt myself

hmmm .... there's a lot mix feelings within me ..

every time i close my eyes .... i see memories of you .. your smile .. your hug .. your kiss .. and it feels so real ...
and eventually tears roll down my cheeks ... when i open my eyes ...
i'm still living in the past .. and i haven't walk a single step out from it ...
this feeling should have reduced ... should have faded ...
the feeling gets stronger everyday ..
i'm afraid I can't handle my emotions anymore ..
i miss you every single second ...

maybe because of it .. i refused to let other people to enter my life ..
i have issue in accepting new love .. new people .. new relationship ..
i have problem letting go my past .. let go of  you ... letting go everything from the past ...
i doubt myself in loving others ...
i'm afraid ... i will only accept them as a replacement of you .. i'll expect them to be like you ..
but not truly loving them ..
i'm afraid .. at the end ... i will .. only love you ...
what should i do ??
i can't go on like that ... i'm human .... fragile heart ...
will i ever have the confident to walk another step out of my misery ??
to love and accept other people ???
to give my heart to others .. who love me ..

Sorry ...
Lornalsq