Sometimes I wonder ...

Dear blog , 

Sometimes I wonder what happen if I didn't choose to wait for his return ? Maybe life wouldn't be as painful as what it is now . Maybe life could be better than what I'm experiencing now. 

But sometimes I wonder what happen if you didn't leave and I didn't choose to leave you at first ? Will life be sweeter than what it is now ? Will we hold on to the love that we have till today ? Will we be happy together till forever ? 

Sometimes I wonder what happen if we didn't meet at the first place ? Will life be much simpler ? Will our life be better rather than having all this regrets and pain ? 

Sometimes I wonder what happen if I've move on and you came back ? Will we turn back to what we used to be ? Will  we be able to forgive each other and be happily ever after ? 

Sometimes I wonder what happen if you didn't paint her into our picture ? Will you be waiting for my return ? Will you give up on us ? 

Sometimes I wonder what happen if I didn't choose to follow the heart ? Do I still need to endure the pain of being stupid ?  Will I learn to appreciate your existence ? 

Sometimes I wonder what happen if I confess to you once again ? Will you accept my love and start all over again ? Or will you ignore my existence like how I did it last time ? 

Sometimes I wonder will you be waiting for me to initiate the first move ? Will we still be able to love like how we used to be ? Will you love me like how you did few years back ? 

Sometimes I wonder what if I choose to wait till the very end ? Should I keep my heart and continue to walk this lonely road ? Or should I give my heart to someone else and walk a better road ? 

But what's better ? What if I give my heart away and no one promise to take care of it ? What if it's not right again ? What if I choose the wrong road again ? What if you are the only one that I ever wanted too be with ? What if .....