All I Wish is Another Day With You ...

Had been 151 days after receiving your last email ...  a last email which hurts the most ... 

151 days without you ...
and ..

i'm completely being isolated from your life ... being ignored .. 

i had cry.. had fall .. had been sad ... had been crushed ... had gone through almost everything that hurt my feelings deeply ...
but i realize that you don't care about it anymore ..
or ..
i can say .. 
you don't give a damn anymore ... 
in the beginning ..
i could hardly accept this fact ...
i would hide myself .. keeping myself away from it ..
giving myself a million of reason for what is happening now ...
giving myself a million of hopes ...
but its all a lie ... a lie that keep myself alive ??? or a lie that keeps hurting myself ???
or maybe a lie that push myself further down the hole ...
when will i wake up ???
should i ...
continuous blaming myself ...
continuous crying ...
continuous being in this condition ...
i can feel the numbness .. i feel like a dead person without a single feeling ..
all i can do is to fake a smile and laugh in everyday life ...
 i'm tired ..
wonder where is my happiness ...
its gone since the day you left ...
but till now ..
what else can i do ???
all you say in that email was everything was not enough ... 
i don't even deserve another chance from you ...
you used to say time could show us everything ..
but till now time doesn't show us anything dear !
IT DOESN'T !! .. 
all it does was to cause your love to fade ... and to stop my wound from healing ... but getting deeper and deeper ...
the longer the time ... the more it hurts me ... 
and eventually u will forget me completely ...
some people say i should chase over my happiness but when there isn't a chance ... 
and you had stop me from doing it completely ...
how should i be a part of your life ... 
if the reason why you are hurting me now is because of what i had did in the past ..
isn't it enough already ???
what else do you want me to prove ???
what else do you want me to do ???
what else ??? please tell me ...
i'll leave it all to fate now ..
if fate doesn't allow us to get back together then all i can do is to accept the fact ...
but all i wish now is you could see my life had change ... 
and i wish i could give you everything that i have ...
all i wish for is another day with you ...
will we be able to get back together before valentine's day ??? 
its 4 days from now ...