Blur me ....

arghhhhh ....
its been a few bad days for me ....
i fall sick in a sudden .. without any warning ... not even a lil sign ...
I've been blur for a few days .... sleep... wake up ... sleep .... wake up n eat ...
luckily i got no class for 5 days till wed ....
if not i wonder how to survive in class .... with a blank mind ....

finally the drama that i used to watch comes to a finale ....
awww ..... sweet ending ... though this type of ending consider lame for the others but i do still like happily ever after ...

after finishing the last episode of this drama ...
it makes me think of you again ...
few days ago ... i thought of letting go .... or not to let go ....
i once again struggle with decision ....
friends keep on telling me to let go ... not worth it .... n bla bla bla ....
but who does really understand how i feel and what i want ....

now ... to let go or not to let go  .... is no longer a decision to be made .....
because i know no matter what i decide .... it will never turn everything back to the way i want it to be ....
i know i should not look back but to look forward ...
what had past had past .....
however .. it is impossible for me to forget .. everything between us .....

when i was struggling with fever .. sore throat .... n pain .....
i wish you were here for me ...
a warm gentle hug might reduce my pain ....
hoping for your smile .... telling me its ok ... i will be fine after a few days ...
i end up crying myself to sleep ....
i wish i could tell u how much i miss you ....
how much i need you ....
but i know i will never have a chance to tell you anymore......

the only way to keep myself alive is to treasure up all our sweet memories .....
the only way to smile is to know that you are happy with your life ....

i do still have a lil wish ... which is to celebrate my 20th b'day with you ....
n I'm still hoping it to happen ....
XOXO